Worry
Good Morning,
This week we had an important meeting with the CEO and founder of a very large account we are working on. We have met many times before, but this meeting became something different (in our minds) because the client insisted on coming to our humble studio and visiting us. Being that this had never happened before we collectively started speculating on why he wanted to come to us? Was he curious? Is something wrong? Have we made a wrong turn on his project?
The point is you can see how quickly the speed of the mind can turn speculation can into worry. Speculation in and of itself is nothing more than curiosity, but worry is a useless beast. Why do we worry? Are there any real tangible benefits to the act of worrying? In my experience it is simply useless habit, the thing we default to when there is uncertainty. We can not save anyone or anything by worrying about it, worry is like a rocking chair--it gives us something to do but it doesn't get us anywhere.
When we worry we are helping no one (including our selves) and we need to learn to recognize when we start to default to this state of mind. Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If allowed, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. So I encourage us all to take note of worry, investigate it for yourself and if you find a practical use for it, let me know, I would love to hear it.
So how did our meeting go? Great! we were reassured of the great work we have been doing, asked for more help in the strategy/thinking part of the project and secured another four months of work! Were any of our worries or fears valid. . . . . . . . . ? Not a one.
The funny thing about worry is that it often gives small things big shadows.
Take care and have a worry free day today and everyday, after all what is the point?
Peace and Love, Jim
posted by The Daily Buddha at 6:36 AM
6 Comments:
ahhh...this one hits close to home for me. I often think about why i/we worry. I've come to know it to be a useless thing, but for some reason it's sometimes hard not to worry. i think it's part of human instinct or something. but why?--i don't know. Worrying does absolutely nothing yet we all experience it. and furthermore, it's something that most people can't control even if they wanted to. so i wonder if there are some steps we can take to worry less, to control this silly emotion.
hmm...
Could worrying stem from fear? if it does then how do we deal with that? anyways, just some random thought i had :)
cheers!
You are correct my friend woory stems from fear and here is the equation: worry stems from fear, fear stems from uncertainy. What are you of uncertain of becomes the question.
What is there to be uncertain of? There are only two things that are certain in every human beings life: The first is that you are alive right now. The second is that you will die. That's it! everything else in your life, you invented or decided to take on.
When you look at the world in this very simple and very real manner, you can begin to understand how complicated "we" make our world, and with that complication comes all the emotions that plague us, including worry.
The bottom line is that you have everything you could ever need right now. You could live and die in the house in your in, with the car you have, and the husband you love, but many of us are uncomfortable with that. We think there should be more, we want more and where there is want, there is worrying about how to get it.
So am I saying that want creates worry? In a round about way yes. Take a look at what you worry about, I bet if you really look hard enough you will see that most of it stems from the fact that you want something (saftey, security, health etc) and do not know how or what to do about getting it. This is of course natural, but being natural does not always mean it is the right thing to do. We must retrain ourselves to recognize all of this and be happy with the way things are and not how we want them to be. Then you are taking steps to reduce the worry in your life.
You will get there my friend, I know and believe in you. Take care and hope this helps.
Peace and love.
Jim
Boy, if I had a dime for every moment I had a worry about something in work :D While the better part of my brain knows that worrying about something does it no good - just gives me less sleep and an overactive brain.
Time and time again, i catch myself falling in this pitfall and I often try to dig a flow of diversion from the "worry trench" by telling myself that it's not my concern, and that things will work out. But this only lasts for a short time before I fall back in the trench when I see no one taking care of an issue before it becomes an even bigger issue.
I guess I'm just that kind of person who, when they see a potential problem, we like to worry about it to ensure that it is resolved before it gets any worse. While sometimes it never does get any worse - I guess it's a self-preserve mechanism in the brain to stay aware of things that could in some way affect you if left unwatched.
The only downside to it, is we can never really tell when it is going to affect us or not. But, I guess regardless, if it is going to happen, it will, and; unless it is something that is in your control, you cannot worry about it.
Maybe I need to intentionally miss a few deadlines to teach myself the results of things going wrong and how there will most always be a way to fix it ;) Thanks for the insight today!
Yes it is hard not to worry when we think something is going to affect us, but none the less it does us no good. I use to lay in bed at night worrying about things and thinking that the next morning I was exhausted from losing sleep. Come to find out that once i just got out of bed and did something about my worries, I felt better in the morning. The lesson: It was not a lack of sleep that drained me, it was the worrying.
As for work, sometimes we worry that when things fall apart (and they always will) they will affect us (and they usually do), but we can not always save the ship from sinking. If we always save the ship we deprive those around us from the experience of either saving the ship or learning to swim (when it does go down). Sometimes the best thing that can happen is to simply let the ship sink! Life will go on, trust me.
Many companies breed a culture of worrying, they never want anyone too comfortable and they certainly do not want anyone to let the ship go down, but there are many valuable lessons to learn when the boat we float along in sinks, plus you can always swim to another boat or island.
You have to watch your personal life though, a personal boat full of bills, objects to maintain, and debts to pay can leave you with few choices as you move through life, or force you to always save the boat. The question then is do any of us really want that?
Some of the most worried people I know have everything and are doing very well in life, but they worry about how to keep it, or who will get it. Again is this what anyone wants?
Simple life = freedom = less worries.
As I mentioned to Anna 90% of all worries come from wanting, the other 10% stem from fear. Eradicate desire and fear and guess what. . . no worries.
Peace and love my friend, Jim
All valid points, and sadly, all things I know at heart. Getting my brain and heart to work as one is my next step in a simplified life :) When you put it in perspective of having to let others learn from the sinking ship - that's a great point; one that I often forget. I have always been the one to try and save the boat - but really I need to let it go and ride it out.
And that my friend is why in buddhist terminology we "practice" (meditate). It is the only way to train the mind and heart to reconnect as they once did in our natural, enlighten, state, commonly referred to as natural intelligence. We all no what is truly real in life, but how many of us are willing to face it on a daily basis?
Like all things, it takes practice. We can all reach that connection again, said the buddha.
Peace and Love, Jim
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