Caring (part 2)

Good Morning,

Yesterday when i spoke of idiot compassion, I referred to the act of giving people what they need VS what they want. How does one end up offering idiot compassion when they see a friend or loved on suffering? Many times it is driven by guilt. We see someone in suffering and instead of true compassion we go from sympathy to a feeling of guilt because we want to end their suffering. Then because we can not first hand bring an end to it (their suffering) we feel guilty.

When we get stuck in guilt, we never make it to compassion. We never shift the focus from ourselves and our feelings to the other. Overwhelmed with the need to do something, we can’t just be with people. Instead we want to fix it and make it all better. In fact, if we can’t fix it or at least feel like we’re helping, it feels like we’re not being compassionate at all. We then begin with even more effort to help and out of the best of intentions, end up not acting with compassion at all, but with Idiot Compassion.

Idiot compassion robs others of the opportunity to move through their own experiences in order to become empowered. We are all victims when this type of compassion is applied. Parents saving their children from rough spots in life, spouses enabling spouses to continue their destructive behaviors, and the energy drain it places on all parties involved. The fact is, we can’t do anyone else’s work for them – they must do their own work.

This is understanding the nature of genuine compassion.

Have a great day and carry this thought - Out of chaos find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

Peace and Love, Jim